You don't know beans...

...until you come to Boston. So in the grand tradition of me not following through on tasks I set aside for myself to do, I have been neglecting my poor little blog for sometime now. All I can say is, I'm sorry little blog spot, deeply and truly sorry :(

Sometimes, in this life, all you need to recharge your batteries is a change of scene. Luckily, I have a built in escape plan (namely going back to Boston to see my rents). This trip actually happened quite by accident and ended up being one of the better trips home I've made of late. Between jetting through NYC and catching up with my gays and then spending quality time with both family and friends in Beantown I feel newly energized, if not a little homesick.

I'll leave you with a picture from one of my favorite artists whose work I was able to take in, in person, this week as it is on display at the Boston Athenaeum :) Edward Gorey, you are a genius.

Talking to God

"For a singer, your voice, singing...it's how you speak to God." -John Edwards

No not THE John Edwards...either of them...this quote came from not a former vice-Presidential candidate nor a television spiritualist. It came from my co-worker, massage therapist, future doctor but most importantly actor/singer/dancer: John Edwards. Leave it to a gay man (a theatre practitioner no less!) to so perfectly put into words a feeling that I have felt for years. Why do I sing? Why do I love it so? And why are people so drawn to vocalists?

It's my own personal conversation with the universe. Heavy huh?

Not really...for those of you who know me (I think I've even spoken about this in my blog before) I have an interesting relationship with the big guy upstairs. Namely I don't really believe there is one. HOWEVER, I believe in something...is it a baby in swaddling clothes or an ancient man in a white robe that would make even the purest bride blush? No. It's nothing that concrete. Call it a feeling, an intuition, a dream,fat, a giant purple elephantin the room (how Hindu!)...I don't know but there is something out there driving us all. Just take a minute to watch the tides of the ocean or a particularly beautiful sunset (I very rarely see it rise unless I've been up all night) and you'll feel simultaneously so small and so immense. Thanks mother nature for making me feel so insignificant while so integral in the ebb and flow of the universe. (side note...I also don't know if "god" is a beautiful elven lady wrapped in vines and birds feathers, lithe and birdlike while also strong as the roots of tree...in other words, mother nature? I don't know) I do know when I sing I feel a connection with myself and the world and people around me. I think people are so drawn to those with vocal talent because they can sense the discourse that's happening with the universe. I know it sounds like new-age hooey but I believe that tapping into your voice helps you tap into a universal conversation. It doesn't matter what language or key or style of music, you're part of the discussion and that is beautiful.

Let's face it. My relationship with my voice is one of the longest standing ones that I have (aside from my mumma of course) and like most long term affairs it has at times been so fulfilling and at others more trouble than it was worth. We have loved each other. We have hated each other. We have even LOST each other on occasion. But what can I say? I'm stuck with her and she with me. We had to learn to get along. Let me tell you, my voice has taken me far and wide. It's let me experience things I never would have, led me to some of my most special relationships and my darkest failures. If that's not proof that use of my voice is connected to the universe on a whole, I don't know what is.

So thanks voice...we've been through so much and we've got a long way to go. I can't wait to see what we'll do next...Universe? God?

You better get ready to keep on listening...